Posted by: SM | December 19, 2011

XIII – Don’t Get Scared Now

So here’s where my head is hours before we do this thing; flippant to the point of annoying. I do think about what’s to come but the way I figure it, everyone who is important to me will know how special they are to me so that if anything happens nothing is left unsaid. In terms of my life being in someone else’s hands for a few hours tomorrow I can’t really focus on that too much.

 I will say this. I have been very lucky to have the friends and the family I have. The ups mean nothing without the downs and if it all goes to make you who you are, then I’m thankful for every person who said I couldn’t do something; because they have contributed to this fine figure of an every so girly boy writing this right now.

Anything else I write now will sound like a goodbye and I don’t want that. I still have work to do, the story isn’t finished. But for now, I’ve been there, thought about it, and fucking gone and done it anyway.

I’m thankful for my parents and that they never listened when Bury council told them I’d never achieve anything in education, outside of eating dry cornflakes with the special needs kids. I’m glad I never listened when my Mum told me I couldn’t dive off the high diving board on holiday, and Dad, I totally let go of your hand on purpose. If I was going to leave that diving board, I was going to leap on my own terms. It’s very me.

I will never be able to tell Claire exactly how amazing she is, I do tell her what she means to me regularly, I fear I only scratch the surface. We still have adventures to go on, but I’m glad I get to share so much of them with you. This year has been one of the happiest of my life and you alone made leaving Liverpool the best thing I have done since leaving home to go there in the first place.

If that wasn’t enough I was able to strike gold again more recently when Anna came along. Anna is amazing on her own terms, she is like no-one I have ever met. To every situation there is reaction A, reaction B, and Anna’s reaction, I love that. And she never stops smiling around me coz I don’t let her. Who knew that when Claire brought her friend round when she moved in, she was introducing me to someone else that would become so special to me.

I have surrounded myself with people who write their own rules, life is never ever dull.

Anyway, this all sounds really final so I’ll stop and just say…

Let’s bring on tomorrow.

Goodnight, God bless,

PS. I love you

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