Posted by: SM | December 19, 2011

IV – Coz You’re There For Me Too!

Eventually, I’m going to have to deal with the actual operation but right now there is always another hurdle to get over… today it’s the Pre Op. It all comes down to this but there’s no time to get nervous. People are living lives and have issues of their own to deal with and I love these people more than you can imagine, the last thing I want to do is create more stress in their heads. I fear that stress is there whether I wanted it there or not.

Just for a second today, or a few minutes, I doubted whether all this was worth it. Then I realised that it was and told myself off. Life just carries on whether you like it or not, you don’t often get issues and events happening in nice little sections, sometimes life is indeed a bitch and it hits you with a few issues all at once. This isn’t going to be easy, we knew that.

Claire is the bestest friend anyone could ever want and I will forever thank God for putting together the situations that led us to each other. I would do anything for her; as she would for me. I have declined her very kind offer to have the operation for me. I’ve never felt like this operation is a burden to her, and if I did at any point I would tell her and she will most probably reassure me that it isn’t. I know that I am not a burden, but it’s a difficult time for all of us. I’m here for her every step of the way, she doesn’t need to ever pretend to be the big brave soldier for me. If any of us are having a crap day, or we are worried or scared then I know we can talk to each other about it.  I haven’t got to that point yet, I keep waiting for it. It’s not an issue for me at the moment though.

The hope for the pre-op is that everything goes according to plan and I have news to tell my Mum and Dad that evening.

S.A.M xx

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