Posted by: SM | August 27, 2009

I Blame James Beam!

If you aren’t a fan of my blogging then you should damn well become one because right now I’m soooo full of Jim Beam I have no idea what I’m going to write. Only that tonight was mental, and I remember every bit of it. I remember being sat there with David in some place I can’t remember the name of, talking absolute nonsense. But it was mega!

First off there was this guy who kept asking us if we wanted food and I did so I got some, then he heard me say that I should have got more to eat coz I was hungry so he came back and offered me more food. Honest to God it was like I was eating a three course meal in installments… but the tunes were good and the chat was really random. If you were on Twitter then I can only hope it made sense.

Having both worked in Call Centres before me and David were sat there pissin our sides at the the thought of those life altering choices; “Yes you have swine flu” or “No, you don’t” – being made by people reading off a checklist they probably arent paying attention to. Because they’ve probably got a Team Leader standing over them going “Your average call time yesterday was 6 minutes, it’s too long, diagmose quicker.” So some poor bastard’s gonna be sat there givin people Swine Flu just so he can get quicker calls and make his quota! Either that or if you are unlucky enough to fall into the industry termed “five o’clock knobhead’ who rings just as you are about to finish your shift, they are probably gonna find they have swine flu too – just so you can get them off the phone in 2 minutes and leave at a reasonable time!

Nothing worse than everyone leaving a call centre team at the end of the shift and you are the one unlucky enough to get stuck with the knobhead who doesn’t understand that there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO!

We also discussed the fact that I knew facts about Christopher Lambert (Highlander). Christopher Lambert was unable to see without glasses and unable to wear contacts as he was and is allergic. Therefore every film you see him in without glasses, he is acting near enough blind. I said it would have been possible to have the Highlander wearing glasses….”I’m McCloud of the Clan McCloud and I should have gone to SpecSavers!”.

We reckon Christopher Lambert could have saved the two later Highlander sequels, if he had worn glasses! The fact that he didn’t was the reason they were shit. Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull? Shit. Solaris? Shit.

All of this was capped off brilliantly by being scooped onto the tram about 20 minutes ago, and sitting next to the spitting image of Sid Waddell of the darts. I’m sure it wasn’t him. But not entirely sure. Also, if you can name me another person who has managed to stumble towards the lift pushing a wheelchair one handed while listening to Katy Perry kissing girls… I’d like to meet them. Was quite surreal.

I’ve kissed several girls. It’s okay like. Wouldn’t write a song about it! I’ve Kissed A Boy probably wouldnt’t sell and I doubt as many would buy it.

Let me sleep off tonight’s alcohol and I’m right back there for tomorow, with Bananarama! Good times!

In a bit – Moultyx

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