Posted by: SM | July 7, 2009

MoultyTasking

Alright all?

Get on this, I was told today by one of my closest friends that she had been reading this site. Everyone who says that mentions it in a apologetic kind of way, once and for all I really don’t mind.

Today has been good. I caught up with a few people and when I handed those valued few off to work and their other men, I went off to Tesco to watch the world go by and have breakfast. It’s good for people watching, there was an old dear sat next to me who was talking to herself really loudly. Everyone around her was doing the polite thing and making it look like they didn’t notice but come on people, when there is a friggin’ pink elephant in the room…you watch the animal! It was quite a giggle coz for a while I thought there was someone there with her (there clearly was, but not an actual person).

It’s funny when you bump into people that you have known for a while; they think they own a small part of you because they remember you from years back. They are easily spotted by the fact they sport a daft smile for the five minutes it takes them to approach you, and they always ask me the same three questions. Next time it happens I’m gonna give them this website…and give them this page. Read these answers.

No, I do not have a job: I do not have the time or the inclination to explain to you why, if you do not know this already.

No I do not have a girlfriend: I was no good at having one when I thought I wanted one, never gonna happen get over it. I’ve found that I have several girls in my life, all of which are dear to me and none of whom interest me in that way. I think I’ve found the answer, to be really good friends with a girl you must have no interest in sleeping with them.

No it is not a shame, and no it is not a waste.

Milk LAST when making tea. Not first. Ever. Ever. Ever.

Saw Nanna yesterday in hospital, she was on top form with her Nanna one liners. My favourites, “This is my Simon. He went to University you know, and he had Cerebral Paulsy”.  I would like to reassure people that I still have it! She also put money in her television so that she could watch her soaps even though she had read what was going to happen in the magazine we had just brought her… I can’t wait to be old. A world of yer own and revenge on yer kids!

I have a weekend free due to the fact that someone has to work. If any one needs a shopping assistant, or at least a couple of handles to rest shopping bags on, contact Given to Fly via the usual methods. I am this season’s must have accessory, and you know it’s true.

In a bit lovelies!

Simon

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