Posted by: SM | December 16, 2007

Just When You Think

January 16th 2007

The day can’t get any worse, you leave work without your phone and have to spend three bloody pounds to get on the internet and tell people that sit next to you at work, to go and pick it up for you. Then you spend the rest of the hour you’ve paid for, worrying that they get the e-mail you sent, or maybe they don’t reply because they can’t find your phone…arrgh.

All this while waiting for more important business, trying to be sensible and not buy things that I don’t have the money for and I won’t actually need. Making me go past Virgin Megastores and other shops should be highly ilegal when I have no money.

What the hell did we do before that mobile phone ruled our lives? 

Also I hate the fact that while I write this and await a response from those at work, some eejit could be looking over my shoulder at some very sensitive info, granted, only if I type sensitive info but still…Stelios sure knew he was on to a winner didn’t he eh? Easy Internet Cafe me arse! It ranks alongside the ‘Hassle Free’ change over that I keep being offered by Toucan telephone, what the feck is hassle free about being called up in the evening and asked for the millionth time if you were aware that Toucan can beat BT for price on phone plans! Of course Toucan Telephone offers cheaper telephone bills than BT, it’s not a shock. BT are the market leaders and so they have to keep their prices higher than everyone else. When I worked for a well known energy supplier we were told that the minute a customer would say they were with British Gas we knew we had something to offer them because we were always cheaper than them. The price war is not between the top dog and the rest, ever. It is always between the other companies, lower down the food chain. BT and British Gas cannot offer prices that are too cheap because they are the top dog and would price themselves out of the market. Incidentally, knowing that a customer could be saved money did not make it any easier to sell energy to them. Try all the tricks you like, and we were advised to, “Are you not interested in saving money then, sir / mdm?”, “Fantastic news! We can offer you (insert price) savings on your bill”. Will they change? No, “okay I will see if we can push the deal even further just for you (and the million others that say no first time)”. Stick ’em on hold and talk to your friend and then come back and say “I’ve spoken to my boss, and I am pleased to say that we have lowered the price just for you!” If they still say no repeat the patten for a further two times until the third and final time when you make it sound like you are really giving the deal away for nothing!

If they still say no, thank them, and move on to one of the other 500 calls you are expected to make in a day. Each one sounding like it’s your first, bright and breezy!. Anyone that ever gives anyone in call centres any trouble at all, have my sympathy but frankly, as I have been on both ends of the phone calls,  so do the poor people trying to sell something.

Anyone wanting to take the piss and go with the telephone guy for a bit of a laugh before pulling the plug, I’ve done that too and it’s very funny. It’s not quite so funny at the end of the phone call when he / she is getting bollocked for not making the sale and losing out on a commision that makes the job barely do-able. To anyone that’s ever taken the piss, try imagining selling the worst product ever to a bunch of people who not only don’t want to talk to you but will yank your chain for a bit first, and try putting up with that for each and every one of the 700 phone calls you make. Believe me, the piss takers are the good ones, most of the 700 will be short and rude in your direction. Try putting on your happy face and then going home knowing you will be having exactly the same amount of fun tomorrow and the next day. Then try imagining that not everyone there are uneducated thicko’s that type and keep saying “one moment please”. They are not saying it to piss you off, usually the computer has decided to crash and they have lost your details…

Anyone working in call centers has my support.

Please remember people, you haven’t asked to be called and they haven’t asked to call you. The conversation is between two people who don’t want to be on the phone but at least one that has to if they want to eat for a month, y’know, quirky things like that!

For those still with me after that rant, my phone has been found although there is “some confusion” over who has it. Not exactly the bestest new ever?

My fate and that of my phone is in another’s hands. 

I’m not giving Stelios another minute!
Simon

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